Friday, October 16, 2009

Needed this...

I've been super busy with in general. But the last week or so I've been in a huge slump...'negative thoughts' are haunting me like crazy. I get like this every so often. I feel so down on myself...and the negative tapes play over and over...

"I'm a loser!"
"I'm fat!"
"I'm so incredibly ugly! How can anyone handle looking at me???"

And any other horrible thought that my serotonin reduced brain can muster runs through my head...NON STOP!!

Now in the deepest part of my soul I KNOW that none of these things are true. I don't usually harbor so much self hatred. For the most part I feel pretty good about the person I am. So then what the heck is the problem??? I honestly believe that the 'real' problem is I simply have way too much on my plate!! I get so overwhelmed with the everyday stuff.... I try to 'do it all'...I try to juggle 19 balls in the air! And the worst part is this...I hate myself when my 'imperfections' show.

When I went to bed last night, I dozed off for a few minutes then woke up again and couldn't get back to sleep. I tossed and turned while those tapes were playing over and over in my mind...I worried that maybe I was going off the deep end. I wanted to cry. A big part of me wants to blame it on pre-menopausal hormones, but who knows for sure.

Regardless, all morning I've been trying to pull myself out of this mood. I been trying to replay the positive tapes in my head and turn off the negative ones. I'm feeling better, but I'm still not there.

Then I logged onto Twitter and some one I follow...Dr. Jane Mountrose...had just tweeted this:

"Friday is a great day to focus on this week's successes. What was your greatest success this week?"

When I read that I felt a little bit of relief...another useful tool that might help me dig myself out of this pit of negativity.

Okay...focus on the positive things that happened this week....

-My Creative Name Signs website is updated and ready for the holiday season.
-My husband and I attended open house at the kids' schools and all 3 of them are doing well.
-We are having everyone over for dinner tonight and I don't have to cook!! We have tickets to my daughter's eighth grade school fundraiser--a spaghetti dinner. We'll just go over, pick up our meals and bring them back here and enjoy!!
-I got a nice number of orders this week...some of which are holiday orders...let the madness begin!
-And I completed and shipped a good number of orders this week.
-Also, of the orders I shipped last week I got quite a few kind comments from my customers.

I'll finish for now and do more focusing in private...I don't want to bore my readers!

In conclusion, I realize the idea of going through and focusing on the positive events of the past week is not a grand new thought or revelation. But I firmly believe that every once in awhile we can become so clouded that we have trouble seeing the obvious. Every once in awhile we need to dig ourselves out of a bad rut with every possible tool we can find.

I'm going to log off now and spend some time focusing on the positive things in my life...

I'll be back soon with more. Until then,

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