Then my next epiphany came to me when I was walking out to the car one wintery morning. Isn't it just so strange how certain thoughts pop into your mind at the oddest of times???
Anyways...I don't really know why this thought came to my mind...I think it was because I had recently explained to my son that his aunt, my sister, had a really hard time when her youngest son went away to college. She suffered from a terrible case of empty nest and after about a year and a half she's finally coming to terms with the change. Watching her deal with this serious issue has taught me that I need to cherish the few years I have left with my children...in 10 short years my baby will be going to college. It scares me...ten years is a long time...but then again...it's not.
All of this conversation in my head led me to my next epiphany of motherhood...
You know how you, your family and friends are so completely joyful and happy when a child is born??? You celebrate and shed tears of joy and sheer delight. You cherish your new little bundle and look forward to all of the wonderous years ahead of you. You plan for the big events like baptisms, first birthdays, the first day of school and years worth of holiday fun.
The years go by and you watch them grow into beautiful individuals and eventually you have a lifetime full of memories. Time passes so quickly and the next thing you know they are adults and it's time to send them on their way--perhaps college, the armed forces, a new job in a nearby town or possibly far away. They are on their way to a new life. But as a mother you become extremely sad. You miss your child terribly and you cry and obsess about the times you spent together when they were little. You constantly ask yourself, "Where have all the years gone???" or "How did he grow so fast???" You cry...you feel sad...and all the while you know that you need to move on and adapt to your life without them. And every so often they come home for a weekend or holiday and you feel like you've gotten them back and you're reminded of what happiness feels like...only to have them leave again and go back to their new life.
Well my epipahny was this...
I thought that maybe...just maybe...when we are born to this world God (like our parents) sends us on our way. Maybe at the moment when we enter this world God is shedding tears of saddness because He has to let us go. At the moment we give birth to our beautiful babies we are celebrating with great joy. But maybe at that very moment God is shedding tears of saddness. He knows He has to let our souls go into this new life. He has to wait for years and years while we live our life on this planet. He spends all that time hoping and praying that we will find our way back home to Him.
Then when our time comes and we go back home to God our loved ones are crying again, but God will be rejoicing that we've made our way back to Him.
A few familiar phrases...
"Everything has it's season"
"The yin and the yang"
"The ebb and the flow"
"High tide and low tide"
"Dawn to dusk"
This is how it is for us as humans and that one wintery morning I had this overwhelming feeling of clarity--an epiphany. Maybe it's the same for God. He has to send us, His Children, on our way. He, too, has to let us go and spread our wings. Maybe He understands much more than we realize.
Just my latest epiphany...with more to come I'm sure!