Monday, March 26, 2007

Maybe this is what I need to do...

I am celebrating my 7th year since I got the bug to start my business. I can't believe it's been so long!! It moved so slowly at first and now I'm so busy I can hardly keep up. For the past year I have been contemplating my next I take my business to the next level and move it out of my house and into a building away from home??? I just don't know...I have been tossing this thought around in my head for a long time now.

I got together with a couple of friends about a month ago and we talked about this subject. I think in having this one conversation with them I have decided what direction to take.

For now I will leave things be. First of all I have lots of room in our house to take advantage of...I just need to declutter a few areas and reorganize and I'll be fine. Plus the bigget issue is I still want to be home for my children. No they aren't babies anymore and they don't need me like they did 7 years ago. But I am a mom first and I truly want to be here for them.

-I want to be the one who takes them to school and the one who picks them up.
-I want to be there to ask them how their day was.
-I want to be the one who takes care of them when they are sick and stay home from school.
-I want to hear them complain about school and hear them say they can't wait until summer break.
-I want to be the one to hear the daily stories on the way home from school. Everyday my daughter talks to me about her day. It's just how girls are...they need to talk things through. The boys don't share much of anything, but she shares everything and I am grateful she knows she can talk to me. She tells me who she played with at recess, who she sat by in lunch and how much they giggled, who stuck up for her when the class bully picked on her, which boy likes her, and so on. I want to be the one she shares her day with.
-I want to be here at home when their friends are over. No I wouldn't dare 'hang out' with them or sit with them or bother them....I respect that they need their space. But I still need to pay attention. I need to hear them. I need to hear how they treat their friends and I need to hear how their friends treat them.

As long as I'm still working from home I will know what's going on which is something that I want to continue until they completely shut me out...which I know will be very soon...especially with my oldest. He's 12 now and will be 13 in a few short months. The tide is turning and I'm not ready to spend my days away from home...not yet anyways.

Maybe in a few years when I know they'll be ready to fend for themselves for a couple hours each day. My youngest is only 8 years old. He still needs me even though he doesn't think he see he thinks he's 12 years old just like his brother. He thinks he can do all the same stuff as his brother because they spend so much time together. I let him think what he wants but I know the truth. He stills needs his mom nearby just as his older siblings do. All 3 of my kids need to have their mom a few rooms away even if they don't believe it's necessary. So I'll be working from my home base for awhile. Yes, it's crazy, cluttered and, at times overwhelming, but I know it's where I need to be...

Until next time...


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