Sunday, November 20, 2005
Planting your own garden...
"Plant your own garden."
After A While
by Veronica A. Shoffstall
After a while, you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't mean security,
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,
And you learn to build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans.
And futures have a way of falling down in midflight.
After a while, you learn
That even the sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure ...
That you really are strong.
And you really do have worth.
And you learn and learn ...
With every goodbye you learn.
Creators Syndicate Inc.
You've probably heard that poem before, but this one line really struck a chord in me...
"So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul."
That is what we all must do. Each and every one of us MUST take the time to be honest with ourselves and figure out what works for us. Search your soul. Figure out what makes you tick and what fascinates you. Don't get into something just because everyone else thinks it's what you should do. Do what you love and this will let your true self shine through.
Very often I recall this story. I came upon it soon after I made the decision to follow my dream and start my own business. I couldn't figure out what kind of business I wanted to start, but I knew I had to figure out something. I read story upon story about how people got their ideas for their businesses. But this story was my favorite and I always remembered it. I'm sure it's not an accurate accounting of what happened, but it goes something like this...
This couple had a home in the woods and their home was surrounded by trees. They loved the setting and were very content with how their lives were turning out. Then one spring along came a terrible storm and with it a tornado that tore out all of the beautiful trees that surrounded their home and their property.
They were very upset and saddened and felt that their beautiful little world was destroyed. As the weeks passed they worked hard at cleaning up the huge mess. They weren't happy about it, but they had to accept that they couldn't change things. They had to hunker down and forge ahead and play the hand that was dealt to them.
As the weeks passed summer was soon upon them. Along with the summer came the bright sun which for years and years was hidden behind the trees. The light and warmth of the sun shone down onto the fertile land. As the sun did it's job the most beautiful wildflowers began to sprout up everywhere. They didn't know what they were, but they loved them and were fascinated with their beauty. They chose to harvest the seeds and plant more across their land. In researching they discovered that these wildlfowers were very rare and very hard to find. They harvested more of the seeds and began selling them. Their business became a great success. Out of something bad came something wonderful! What they had initially viewed as devastating ended up being a blessing.
So whatever your situation just hang in there and believe that things happen for a reason.
Have a wonderful day!!
Jane
Making lemonade...
In writing my last post about being thankful this thought entered my mind...
"When life gives you lemons make lemonade."
That's a quote everyone is familiar with...I've heard it millions of times myself. In reflecting upon the struggles my family has had to deal with over the past few years I thought of a few things and this infamous quote came to my mind. However, I feel the need to stress a few things...
When life gives you lemons it's really up to you to make your own lemonade.
You have to get out there and pick up as many good lemons as you can. (Notice how I said pick up the "good lemons"--throw the rotten ones away.) Then you need to come up with your own recipe. Figure out what flavors you like and then go get the necessary ingredients. When you're ready take your time and add the ingredients with care. If you rush you could spoil it! Then put your recipe to the test. There's a good chance it won't be right so you'll have to figure out what's not working for you and change a few things. You might have to change your recipe a hundred times before you finally get it right, but do what you must to make it just right for you. And through the entire building process have complete faith in your own recipe.
And another very important point I want to stress is this...don't copy someone else's recipe!! What works for one person could be disastrous for you!
And still another point to remember...we cannot sit and wait for someone to come along and kindly help us out and make the lemonade for us. There's a good chance most people will want to help, but in the end they won't. I'm not trying to be negative, I'm just being honest and going by my own experience. Most people won't help you out, but it's not because they are mean and uncaring. They won't come and help simply because they are busy and overwhelmed dissecting and rebuilding their own recipe for lemonade. They are fretting and struggling just like you...they are trying to figure out how they are going to make their lemonade. And chances are they're thinking that they wish you could help them out because it seems like you're doing so well!
Once you finally get the recipe to your liking then it's time for you to believe in yourself and your recipe--and you MUST believe like you've never believed before! You might think your recipe isn't good enough, but you have to immediately dismiss those thoughts from your head. Don't even begin to let those negative thoughts ruin all of your hard work.
Also keep in mind that there will be lots and lots of people who tell you that you are crazy to even think about selling your lemonade. And some of those people will be the people that are closest to you! You simply cannot listen to them! They aren't trying to be mean--they are just worried about the "what if's" that could come up. They don't want to see you get into trouble. You must understand their position, but at the same time remember what's right for you, keep the faith and move forward.
Next figure out what type of person would want your lemonade and then give them a sample. If they like it then offer them more. Ask them to spread the word about your lemonade and then post some signs about how good it is.
Also research ways to reach the people who like your recipe. Network with people who are selling a complimentary product--something like hotdogs, or hamburgers. Or how about a picnic supply company. You don't want to ask someone who sells lemonade to work with you--that person is your competitor. Someone selling hotdogs or picnic supplies would most likely love to work with you.
Through all of this just use your own common sense, work hard, have faith and everything will fall into place for you.
When those lemons come rolling into your life look at it as an opportunity to rebuild and make your life better. Grab the good ones, squeeze them, add your own kind of flavoring and believe with every ounce of your heart that your recipe is a good one. More than anything else the belief in yourself will carry you through and your recipe will end up being a winner!
Good luck and believe that you have the power to make the best lemonade ever!
Jane
"When life gives you lemons make lemonade."
That's a quote everyone is familiar with...I've heard it millions of times myself. In reflecting upon the struggles my family has had to deal with over the past few years I thought of a few things and this infamous quote came to my mind. However, I feel the need to stress a few things...
When life gives you lemons it's really up to you to make your own lemonade.
You have to get out there and pick up as many good lemons as you can. (Notice how I said pick up the "good lemons"--throw the rotten ones away.) Then you need to come up with your own recipe. Figure out what flavors you like and then go get the necessary ingredients. When you're ready take your time and add the ingredients with care. If you rush you could spoil it! Then put your recipe to the test. There's a good chance it won't be right so you'll have to figure out what's not working for you and change a few things. You might have to change your recipe a hundred times before you finally get it right, but do what you must to make it just right for you. And through the entire building process have complete faith in your own recipe.
And another very important point I want to stress is this...don't copy someone else's recipe!! What works for one person could be disastrous for you!
And still another point to remember...we cannot sit and wait for someone to come along and kindly help us out and make the lemonade for us. There's a good chance most people will want to help, but in the end they won't. I'm not trying to be negative, I'm just being honest and going by my own experience. Most people won't help you out, but it's not because they are mean and uncaring. They won't come and help simply because they are busy and overwhelmed dissecting and rebuilding their own recipe for lemonade. They are fretting and struggling just like you...they are trying to figure out how they are going to make their lemonade. And chances are they're thinking that they wish you could help them out because it seems like you're doing so well!
Once you finally get the recipe to your liking then it's time for you to believe in yourself and your recipe--and you MUST believe like you've never believed before! You might think your recipe isn't good enough, but you have to immediately dismiss those thoughts from your head. Don't even begin to let those negative thoughts ruin all of your hard work.
Also keep in mind that there will be lots and lots of people who tell you that you are crazy to even think about selling your lemonade. And some of those people will be the people that are closest to you! You simply cannot listen to them! They aren't trying to be mean--they are just worried about the "what if's" that could come up. They don't want to see you get into trouble. You must understand their position, but at the same time remember what's right for you, keep the faith and move forward.
Next figure out what type of person would want your lemonade and then give them a sample. If they like it then offer them more. Ask them to spread the word about your lemonade and then post some signs about how good it is.
Also research ways to reach the people who like your recipe. Network with people who are selling a complimentary product--something like hotdogs, or hamburgers. Or how about a picnic supply company. You don't want to ask someone who sells lemonade to work with you--that person is your competitor. Someone selling hotdogs or picnic supplies would most likely love to work with you.
Through all of this just use your own common sense, work hard, have faith and everything will fall into place for you.
When those lemons come rolling into your life look at it as an opportunity to rebuild and make your life better. Grab the good ones, squeeze them, add your own kind of flavoring and believe with every ounce of your heart that your recipe is a good one. More than anything else the belief in yourself will carry you through and your recipe will end up being a winner!
Good luck and believe that you have the power to make the best lemonade ever!
Jane
Giving thanks...
Today is Friday...in my neighborhood that means garbage day. I have to get up extra early and make sure I get our garbage out to the curb in time for the garbage truck. This chore is one that I don't mind too much in the warm summer months. But this time of year, when it starts to get cold...I dread it. I would much rather stay inside and sip my coffee while keeping warm and cozy in my fleece jammies. But I don’t have a choice…I have to go out on this freezing cold morning. UGH!! It’s an 'awakening’ for sure!
As I am hauling all of the bags out a very secure contented feeling comes over me. I have my warm coat on and the cold isn't bothering me this morning even though it's currently a bitter 23 degrees. As I carry the bags out I feel so peaceful. I look around me expecting to see the beginning of a beautiful day. But that’s not the case…the sky is gray, the trees are bare, the dead brown leaves are blowing around in a cold wind yet I am not bothered. I think to myself, “Hey it’s a pretty nice morning!” Then my common sense kicks in and says, “I must out of my mind to think this cold, ugly morning could be nice!” But in looking around I notice the beauty and peace of this quiet moment. There’s no traffic yet, the kids are still sleeping and my little world is at its dawning. That must be the draw for me...the silence!
Most people would be looking around and feeling bitterness at the ugliness of this day, but not me. I am feeling joyful because my peace and happiness come from within. I have a wonderful family and a nice warm snuggly house waiting for me when I’m done. I have 3 healthy beautiful kids and a loving supportive husband. Yes, at times my husband drives me crazy and we've had our share of disagreements over the years, but he's an overall great guy and a fantastic father to our children. I also have a great extended family and we all get along very well. I have a business that's growing and growing and I am fulfilling a dream that I’ve had since I was a kid.
And now I can say that my husband is finally finding happiness, too. For years I watched him get up and go to a job that brought him no joy. Day after day, week after week, month after month and year after year he went off to work and gradually lost his spirit. But he rarely complained. He did this willingly for 15 years because he knew what his priorities were. I can't believe I am even able to think these words, let alone write them down and share them, but I am so thankful that he lost his job. Yes, when he came home on that cold February morning back in 2003 we were devastated beyond belief. We were more worried and scared than we could have ever imagined, but we knew deep in our hearts that the company downsizing was a blessing in disguise. We pulled together and struggled and made life altering decisions. We did lots of soul searching and made our decisions to go down a certain path. Then while waiting to see how things would turn out we questioned ourselves constantly. When you make the kind of changes in your life that we did you constantly wonder if you’ve made a huge mistake. But now our lives have completely turned around and it’s all been for the better. We’re still struggling to get his business moving and profitable, but he gets up every morning with a new outlook. He’s happy and able to help people improve their lives and feel better physically.
I could go on and on because I feel blessed in many, many areas of my life, but I won’t continue to bore you. I just wanted to express my thoughts at the time of year where we celebrate and give thanks for all that we have.
I wish you all a blessed Thanksgiving Day!
Jane
As I am hauling all of the bags out a very secure contented feeling comes over me. I have my warm coat on and the cold isn't bothering me this morning even though it's currently a bitter 23 degrees. As I carry the bags out I feel so peaceful. I look around me expecting to see the beginning of a beautiful day. But that’s not the case…the sky is gray, the trees are bare, the dead brown leaves are blowing around in a cold wind yet I am not bothered. I think to myself, “Hey it’s a pretty nice morning!” Then my common sense kicks in and says, “I must out of my mind to think this cold, ugly morning could be nice!” But in looking around I notice the beauty and peace of this quiet moment. There’s no traffic yet, the kids are still sleeping and my little world is at its dawning. That must be the draw for me...the silence!
Most people would be looking around and feeling bitterness at the ugliness of this day, but not me. I am feeling joyful because my peace and happiness come from within. I have a wonderful family and a nice warm snuggly house waiting for me when I’m done. I have 3 healthy beautiful kids and a loving supportive husband. Yes, at times my husband drives me crazy and we've had our share of disagreements over the years, but he's an overall great guy and a fantastic father to our children. I also have a great extended family and we all get along very well. I have a business that's growing and growing and I am fulfilling a dream that I’ve had since I was a kid.
And now I can say that my husband is finally finding happiness, too. For years I watched him get up and go to a job that brought him no joy. Day after day, week after week, month after month and year after year he went off to work and gradually lost his spirit. But he rarely complained. He did this willingly for 15 years because he knew what his priorities were. I can't believe I am even able to think these words, let alone write them down and share them, but I am so thankful that he lost his job. Yes, when he came home on that cold February morning back in 2003 we were devastated beyond belief. We were more worried and scared than we could have ever imagined, but we knew deep in our hearts that the company downsizing was a blessing in disguise. We pulled together and struggled and made life altering decisions. We did lots of soul searching and made our decisions to go down a certain path. Then while waiting to see how things would turn out we questioned ourselves constantly. When you make the kind of changes in your life that we did you constantly wonder if you’ve made a huge mistake. But now our lives have completely turned around and it’s all been for the better. We’re still struggling to get his business moving and profitable, but he gets up every morning with a new outlook. He’s happy and able to help people improve their lives and feel better physically.
I could go on and on because I feel blessed in many, many areas of my life, but I won’t continue to bore you. I just wanted to express my thoughts at the time of year where we celebrate and give thanks for all that we have.
I wish you all a blessed Thanksgiving Day!
Jane
Sunday, November 06, 2005
God vs. Life
I recall watching an episode of the TV show “Touched by an Angel” a few years ago. On this particular episode the guest character was diagnosed with ALS. Scared and facing a debilitating disease that would inevitably lead to death he became bitter, resentful and felt sorry for himself. His wife was an extremely loving and giving caretaker. She tried very hard to be supportive and understanding while at the same time facing her own fears of a future as a widow and young single mother of a 12 year old boy.
It got to the point in the show where the man with ALS had failed so badly that he had to be in a wheelchair. While continuing with a bitter outlook on life, as if he hadn’t been dealing with enough pain and misery, tragedy struck again and his young wife was killed in a car accident. This left him feeling completely helpless and alone. He felt that all he had left was to face death alone and he, in turn, grew more and more bitter. He could hardly get through a day on his own let alone take care of his 12 year old son. He was devastated and severely depressed. That’s when the angel, Monica, stepped in. She was trying to comfort him in his time of need. He was deeply depressed and feeling sorry for himself…and honestly I couldn’t blame him at all. How scary would that be??? I can’t even imagine the depth of his fear.
He broke down and was crying and sobbing. Monica reveals to him that she’s an angel and tries to console him. She tells him that he needs to believe that God loves him. He looked at her with angry confusion and screamed, “If God loves me so much then how could he do this to me?!?! What did I do to deserve this?!?!?!” Monica, with tears in her eyes, said, “Oh, you need to understand that God didn’t do this to you! But he will get you though it!”
The angel's words struck me deeply...it was an incredible ‘light bulb’ moment! I kept repeating her words so as not to forget them. I knew that someday I would need to remind myself of this fact. Yes, I realize that this TV show was completely fictional, but how many times in our ‘real’ lives do we feel this way? How many times have we said, "Why me?"
My need to keep those words in mind turned out to be completely ironic and almost freaky. About 3 weeks after I saw that show my husband lost his job with no warning at all. He got up and went to work on what we thought to be a typical Friday morning. He came home a few hours later with this devastating news and we realized then that our lives would never be the same.
Needless to say we were overwhelmed with worry, fear, humiliation, panic, etc. Scared and wondering, “Where do we go from here”, we struggled for months to stay sane and figure out what was next for us. Do we move and uproot our kids? Do we stay put and each of us find a job and turn to daycare centers to raise our kids? Do we throw caution to the wind, choose to follow our dream and start a family owned business? I had already started my home business and it was growing, but I was only in year 2 and my profits at that point were still very much in the red. We were constantly questioning ourselves wanting desperately to figure out what to do.
Throughout that fearful time of our lives I kept the thought from that TV show in my mind. I continued to say, “God didn’t do this to us…Life did this to us. God will get us through.” Eventually things did work themselves out. My husband now has his own business and he is happier and more confident than ever. And my business has grown and is flourishing. We kept our faith and we knew that having the rug pulled out from underneath us had happened for a reason. We believed that out of adversity came opportunity. We knew that God would get us through and he (or she) did.
So when Life happens to you just as it did to us (believe me—sooner or later something WILL happen) remember to keep the faith. Remember that GOD doesn’t DO these things to you, but rather LIFE does these things to you. Your faith in God (whatever God you choose to believe in) will give you the strength and the vision to get through the hard times.
As I watch the beautifully colored leaves fly around on this very blustery day I am wishing you a happy fall!
Jane
It got to the point in the show where the man with ALS had failed so badly that he had to be in a wheelchair. While continuing with a bitter outlook on life, as if he hadn’t been dealing with enough pain and misery, tragedy struck again and his young wife was killed in a car accident. This left him feeling completely helpless and alone. He felt that all he had left was to face death alone and he, in turn, grew more and more bitter. He could hardly get through a day on his own let alone take care of his 12 year old son. He was devastated and severely depressed. That’s when the angel, Monica, stepped in. She was trying to comfort him in his time of need. He was deeply depressed and feeling sorry for himself…and honestly I couldn’t blame him at all. How scary would that be??? I can’t even imagine the depth of his fear.
He broke down and was crying and sobbing. Monica reveals to him that she’s an angel and tries to console him. She tells him that he needs to believe that God loves him. He looked at her with angry confusion and screamed, “If God loves me so much then how could he do this to me?!?! What did I do to deserve this?!?!?!” Monica, with tears in her eyes, said, “Oh, you need to understand that God didn’t do this to you! But he will get you though it!”
The angel's words struck me deeply...it was an incredible ‘light bulb’ moment! I kept repeating her words so as not to forget them. I knew that someday I would need to remind myself of this fact. Yes, I realize that this TV show was completely fictional, but how many times in our ‘real’ lives do we feel this way? How many times have we said, "Why me?"
My need to keep those words in mind turned out to be completely ironic and almost freaky. About 3 weeks after I saw that show my husband lost his job with no warning at all. He got up and went to work on what we thought to be a typical Friday morning. He came home a few hours later with this devastating news and we realized then that our lives would never be the same.
Needless to say we were overwhelmed with worry, fear, humiliation, panic, etc. Scared and wondering, “Where do we go from here”, we struggled for months to stay sane and figure out what was next for us. Do we move and uproot our kids? Do we stay put and each of us find a job and turn to daycare centers to raise our kids? Do we throw caution to the wind, choose to follow our dream and start a family owned business? I had already started my home business and it was growing, but I was only in year 2 and my profits at that point were still very much in the red. We were constantly questioning ourselves wanting desperately to figure out what to do.
Throughout that fearful time of our lives I kept the thought from that TV show in my mind. I continued to say, “God didn’t do this to us…Life did this to us. God will get us through.” Eventually things did work themselves out. My husband now has his own business and he is happier and more confident than ever. And my business has grown and is flourishing. We kept our faith and we knew that having the rug pulled out from underneath us had happened for a reason. We believed that out of adversity came opportunity. We knew that God would get us through and he (or she) did.
So when Life happens to you just as it did to us (believe me—sooner or later something WILL happen) remember to keep the faith. Remember that GOD doesn’t DO these things to you, but rather LIFE does these things to you. Your faith in God (whatever God you choose to believe in) will give you the strength and the vision to get through the hard times.
As I watch the beautifully colored leaves fly around on this very blustery day I am wishing you a happy fall!
Jane
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